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Rap Battle: Ratana vs. Nalia
Intro Sharp, thin jets of fire and large, rounded chunks of earth flew back and forth across the field of battle between the opposing forces of the Fire Nation and the Earth Kingdom. Meanwhile, the nonbending warriors of each nation hurled their spears and swung their swords and axes, the buzz of grunts, clashes and yells deafening in the air around them. The all-out efforts of both sides, however, were proving to be in vain, as neither one of them was ready to give in before the other was completely crushed and exhausted. Once this became apparent, a ceasefire was called and a pair of negotiators were brought in to mediate from both sides. The blonde negotiator from the Fire Nation side rode to the center of the battlefield atop an elephant to greet his counterpart from the opposing side. "You who associate yourself with the ghost of Roku," he began, "do you not know that the former Avatar was from the Fire Nation?" "Aye," the red-haired negotiator from the Earth Kingdom said as he drifted over. "What of it? The city of Omashu is part of the Earth Kingdom, is it not? And yet here you are, representing the Fire Nation today." "Let's get down to business," the Fire Nation negotiator suggested as he hopped down from his elephant. "Neither of our sides can take this much longer." "Indeed," said the Earth Kingdom negotiator. "The solution is simple. Let both sides call forth a champion to settle it once and for all." "Capital idea," said the Fire Nation negotiator, his lips curling. "I call forth Nalia, firebending prodigy and skilled assassin of the elite Shepherds!" "And I call forth Ratana of the Terra Team, renowned captain of their forces and master earthbender. Let us have a match to the death!" The Fire Nation negotiator hesitated. "Well..." "Well what?" asked the red-haired ghost. "Are you having second thoughts? Do you doubt your champion's abilities now?" "No, it's not that," said the blonde elephant-rider. "Believe me, my champion would crush yours in a battle any day, but I feel like I've watched or written these kind of fight scenes dozens of times before, and they blend together after a while, don't they?" "I suppose so," agreed the Earth Kingdom negotiator. "Do you propose some alternative?" "I do," said the Fire Nation negotiator. "We'll have a rap battle." The ghostly Earth Kingdom negotiator clapped his hands together. "Excellent!" He turned to the confused earthbender and firebender before them. "Let the rhythm be your guide, challengers." "Nalia, you go first," said the Fire Nation negotiator. 1st Verse (four paragraphs each) Nalia Shhhh. Can you hear that? The sound of defeat! '' ''Only Verse One, but I '''already' have you beat! '' Listen well Ratana, cause when I'm through with you '' ''I know for sure my fire won't be the only thing thats blue! '' ''Don't you know who I am? If not then let me tell you! I'm the chick who kicks your scrawny *ss if I even smell you! I'm a member of the Shepherds, so don't you even try. I've killed men with my bare hands since before you were alive! '' ''Yeah I'm bad to the bone. I'm the worst of all the b*tches! But when this thing is over, you're gonna need a hundred stitches! I'll cut you, I swear! I'm messed up in the head! Go cry to one of your comrades before they're all dead! '' ''Go home, little girl, before you get hurt. Have fun in the Earth Kingdom, rolling in the dirt! I heard your disguise as a man didn't end so well. Are you wearing it now, cause with that face, I can't freaking tell! '' Ratana ''Nalia girl, please! Fighting, on you I've got years! '' ''Only one way to end, and for you that's tears! '' ''Little girl, you ain't fit to be my cheerleader, '' ''In the end, you'll be one huge bleeder! '' ''The ground beneath us I have merely to bend! '' ''And far from this stage you I will send! '' ''Just like I eat sleep and breathe I kill men from the Fire Nation, '' ''Not tiny little dogs, for me, from fighting there is no vacation! '' ''I've seen you kill, and why you kill so slow! '' ''On the job is no time to play, go finish off your mortal foe! '' ''Battle hard, battle to the end, that's the way of the Terra Team posse! '' ''But posse I do not need, not to beat thee! '' ''Smack talk me girl, all I hear is you groan and groan, '' ''Gotta ask you, why you always wander so alone, '' ''Terra Team Captain, I love my man like I love my dragon, '' ''And Nalia, you can't even trust the man you shaggin'! '' 2nd Verse (four paragraphs each) Nalia ''Don't bring up men, your love's an abomination! '' ''You can't fall for the prince of an enemy nation! '' All the boys chase me, week after week! '' ''Get those hunks in my bed, and we never just sleep! '' ''An earthbending woman? Not very classy. '' ''But it's cute you even think that you can out-sass me! '' ''You should give up, 'cause you don't stand a chance! '' ''Even '''you' can't bend these giant stones in my pants! '' I've got a mask, a sword, and a cape just for show! '' ''I've seen your style, and let me tell you, it blows! '' ''Take a fashion tip, honey, that armor is out! '' ''That's why you're losing this war, there is no doubt! You know there's reason that I'm always alone. '' ''People run scared once my powers I've shown! '' ''I fill the biggest, the toughest, soldiers with fear! '' ''And I'll do the same to you, so ready your tears! '' Ratana ''Talk yourself up, in the end its all lies! '' ''To beat you I need no plan, I'll just improvise! '' ''Puh-lease, for your own good you gotta realize, '' ''Anyone, anywhere that face me this way dies! '' ''Face my classy bending, you'll be in a rockalanche! '' ''Just give up, girl, and go back to the ranch! '' ''Let me teach a lesson to you, young Shepherd! '' ''Value your life, then you better not get me stirred! '' ''Girl, you talk about my outfit, you must be blind! '' ''Where I come from, that costume of yours is decades behind! '' ''Your sad attempt to take our country is a 90-year drive! '' ''Firebenders will never get Ba Sing Se, not while I'm alive! '' ''I heard that a couple times you couldn't complete your own mission! '' ''Yet Nalia, you stand here before me, you've got some ambition! '' ''However, it must clearly be for your own self-demolition! '' ''Because that's what I'll bring to you, that's my definition! '' 3rd Verse (three paragraphs each + combo) Nalia ''Who taught you to rap, girl? Was it yo mama? '' ''You just squeak like a mouse, that's why they call you RAT-ana! '' ''I'm the superior rapper, you can't even touch me! '' ''My rhymes are so hot, they'll burn down your whole country! '' ''Yeah alright its true; I've had some roadblocks. '' ''But I'm proud to be written by Om-a-shu Rocks! '' My enemies are tough, they aren't no joy, '' ''But you were deceived by some little boy! '' ''One thing we have in common? A lot of men hate us! '' ''Our ambition, our drive, our strength is what makes us! '' ''Blue fire's my weapon. Vengeance, my motivation! '' ''I'll win every battle, 'cause I'm my father's creation! '' Ratana ''I'm a natural, need no Sifu to rap! '' ''Nalia, I've never seen someone so often land in a trap! '' ''That's clearly no way to go and rescue Ming! '' ''Boy, oh boy, this is going to really sting! '' ''All day and all night, I can hold of any siege! '' ''Deceit for your comrades, Nalia where's your liege! '' ''Get a dose of me once, getting rid of me all is too hard! '' ''Must write me chapter after chapter, just ask ARG! '' ''For both of us, danger lies in our lover! '' ''Still we go head-on, we don't run for cover! '' ''The earth itself is my extension, I fear no dead end! '' ''When push comes to shove, I can always earthbend! '' Together ''Our nations went back and forth for a century! '' Ratana: ''I'll protect my people! '' Nalia: ''I want my sister set free! '' Ratana: ''I've fallen for Lu Ten! '' Nalia: ''I'm coming for Sozin! '' ''Betrayed, loner, outcast, we can't catch a break! '' Ratana: ''Count my blessings and improvise, do what I do best! '' Nalia: ''Focus on what's ahead, can't let Ming be oppressed! '' Conclusion As the dust settled the two warriors, out of breath but showing no signs of weakness, noticed the hoards of Fire Nation and Earth Kingdom soldiers alike crowded around them in a circle. Many were cheering, more were jeering, and some had been reduced to tears by the epic showdown that had taken place before them. Both women, having left it all on the field, joined together and simultaneously dropped one microphone each on the ground. With such strong showings from both sides, the stupefied crowds could not possibly determine a winner, and so it was decided that the champion would be voted upon by the mysterious "users" of the Avatar Wiki.